The Fourth of July is upon us. Besides lighting up imported Chinese fireworks, here’s one surefire way to show that you are a 100 percent bon a fide patriot—no matter what your immigration status.
Get out there and SPEND! Save? Pay down debt? Oh, yeah, you can do that? But why spoil the party. The government doesn’t even do that. SPEND LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW. Your economic future depends on it. It’s the American way.
Have you ever looked at one of those National Debt clocks on the internet?
Go ahead. It’s a great time killer. Go to http://zfacts.com/p/461.html
It may be painful to watch. Or it will give you some perspective on the procrastination of our nation.
The U.S. government’s Gross National Debt at the time I started writing this sentence was somewhere around $9,495,967, 120,635 give or take a dollar.
That’s 9 trillion, four-hundred-ninety-five billion, nine-hundred-sixty-seven million, one-hundred twenty thousand, six-hundred and thirty five. That’s dollars. And that’s cheap. It would be far worse if it were foreign currency.
That’s how much our General Fund (funded by our income taxes) has borrowed so far to keep our government going.
More than half of the money goes to the military to fight for gasoline.
The other half pays interest on the overall debt.
Think of it as one hell of a MasterCard bill.
Fortunately, there’s a surplus on Social Security and Medicare (though perhaps not for long as Baby Boomers age). But the net debt held by the public as I finish this sentence is still $5,699,530,721,337.
And it’s growing at a rate of a million dollars a second.
A million dollars a second!
Thank you incumbent politicians for all your good work compromising our financial freedom!
So this holiday weekend, I’m taking a cue from the U.S.
The country’s screwed. But I don’t have to be. I’m spending!
And my co-conspirator in all this? The U.S. Treasury, of course. The “Great Enabler.”
The vibrator in my pocketbook
I just got my so-called “Stimulus check” and its turning me into a temporary Republican.
Spending it as fast as I can is the least I can do for our great nation while I wait for George Bush to disappear.
Many have pooh-poohed the stimulus as if it were some weak battery operated implement at Good Vibrations.
But believe me I was surprised at the size (of my check).
For a family that’s eligible that’s up to $1,200 for married couples filing jointly, plus $300 for each eligible child under 17.
When I got the check I didn’t exactly say, “I’m going to Disneyland.” But now with cash in hand, I can say, “Bar the creditors at the door. Let’s sneak out the back!”
Leading up to this “windfall” were notices to my wife and I saying the check is coming (I got two of those letters, think of all the trees that could have been saved!)
Then by last week, I finally held it in my hands. There was Lady Liberty with her torched raised, staring me in the face, my name and five low but lovely digits under her arm pit.
I’m ready to act like a modern day militia man. The government has given me my bullets. I’m locked and loaded.
Now I can buy food.
And $5.00 gasoline.
What do you mean no one’s going on vacation this summer? We’re not staying home. We’re buying into the delusion. My family’s going to drive at least 1,500 miles on one of the most expensive weekends —just to get away from expensive gas.
We’re going on a gas vacation! We’re going to visit places where gas prices are cheaper than it is here in Northern California (currently$4.50 a gallon), just so we can say, “Wow. gas is really cheap here.”
The country is in a big hole, so we’ve decided to go to the biggest hole around—The Grand Canyon, where we will marvel if $9 trillion dollars could fill it up with room to spare.
Then we can drive back and feel better because we didn’t stay at home and wallow in our Ramen noodles about any economic downturn.
I got mine; When you’ll get yours
If you haven’t received your Stimulus Check yet, relax. It’s the government, remember. It started sending out checks as early as April 28 for all you way too efficient types who filed in January. Nearly 90 million checks have gone out for more than $70 billion so far. All told, $100 billion will be sent out this year. (Chump change compared to that 5 trillion dollar debt).
The checks will be mailed out based on the last two digits of your Social Security number. Those ending in 64 to 75, the check should be arriving now. Those ending in 76-87 will be sent by July 4. Those ending in 88 through 99 should have checks sent by July 11.
The government even admits it has screwed up a bit. It may not have counted all your eligible kids. (Unless I’ve given one away, I think I’m about one kid short myself). More than 200,000 checks are expected to go out in supplemental payments this summer.
Summer is the operative word. It’s a short-lived stimulus. Be a patriot. Go amok. Feel good. Spend it now.